


Messing with Tolstoy

by korlovv



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, College, F/M, Reylo - Freeform, Teacher Ben Solo, Teacher-Student Relationship, based on that book, it's good, just fluff, kissing tolstoy au, not explicit, penny reid - Freeform, pls read, student rey kenobi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-06-10 02:23:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15281487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/korlovv/pseuds/korlovv
Summary: What do you do when you discover that your super-hot blind date from months ago is now your super-hot Russian Lit professor?You overthink everything and pray for a swift end to your misery, of course!(bassed on the book Kissing Tolstoy by Penny Reid)





	1. Chapter 1

_“Hello Aaron,_

_You obviously don’t know me…and I obviously don’t know how to do this. But hey, the first step to learn is actually doing it. Plus, everything intelligent is so boring. Now, excuse that Anna Karenina quote and I will start over._

_Hi Aaron,_

_You have no idea of who I am, but our friend (Jessika) gave me your email address. Jessika has told me all the attributes you have, stating that we would be the “perfect match”, that it could be almost like “love at first sight.”_

_Honestly, I don’t believe in that._

_The whole idea of loving someone based on their looks and the lust they can make you feel at the moment strikes me as frivolous and convenient. Like Tolstoy would say, “It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.”_

_But, I leave that to you._

_If you would like to see me and have a “chat” on Valentine’s Day, come to Jake Peterson’s Microbrewery on fifth and Pine. If you have trouble finding me, I’ll be the one in leather pants._

_Hope to see you there._

_Rey Kenobi_

Now, how did Rey end up writing an email to a stranger just because Jessika had wanted to set her up on a blind date? She had no idea, what surprised her the most was that she actually wrote the letter. She hit send before she could regret ever doing it, the embarrassment undoing her once she realized what a horrible mistake she had done.

It was Jessika’s fault that she actually seek the email and sent it its way, totally forgotten of her plan of Netflix and really chilling for V-Day. Rey had gotten used to passing Valentine’s Day alone in her small four walls just watching Disney movies, but then she would remember her friends and how all of them were out on dates. Then she would go cry herself to sleep.

This time Jessika had done everything in her power to find Rey a date, it’s gonna surprise her once she knows, and it would be Jessika who would encourage Rey to not skip the date.

* * *

 

_What if he’s a serial killer? Or a psychopath?_

Rey couldn’t clear her thoughts as she waited patiently in the table with some stupid leather pants she bought in a thrift store. She felt just as stupid as the idea of wearing something old from someone else, even if Jessika had insisted how hot she looked Rey felt nothing like it. It was a chilly night and the top she wore was no good, a small green V-necked shirt that made her awfully aware of her cleavage.

Already 6 pm and no signs of anything, the waiter looked at Rey and smiled apologetically.  Great, even the waitress knows she will pass another Valentine’s Day alone and worse because now she was cold.

Maybe it was for her own good. Until she noticed leather.

A man so tall and pale waited in the entrance. Rey gawked at such man, he wore a leather jacket, dark jeans, some motorcycle gloves and the most beautiful brown eyes she had ever seen. While his eyes were mesmerizing she couldn’t help but notice all of him. His hair the color of darkness curling just around his too big ears, his nose was big and angular just to be accompanied with moles splattered over his face.

Most would say he wasn’t attractive yet there was something in the way he was standing and analyzed over the tables that made his face interesting. Not to mention broad muscular chest that manifested over the leather jacket, or the way his arms wrinkled under the pressure of his big arms.

Rey had to blink a couple of times to get out the haze, of course that wasn’t his date. He was too much to be her date, she wasn’t that lucky.

The man kept searching over the tables until his eyes flashed down to Rey’s leather pants. When his eyes reached Rey’s it felt like all the blood decided to join her cheeks, the flame only igniting more at the smirk he showed her. He strolled closer to her table and asked.

“Rey Kenobi?”

_Take a deep breath._

“Yes, you must be―”

“Let’s sit.”

He took a seat closest to her moving the chair so they were elbow to elbow. Rey could hear her mind bluffing about him. She hoped her flushed had calmed down. Rey peeked an eye at him only to find his eyes staring at her, as if reading her as book. Rey shuffled in her seat before talking.

“Um, thanks for coming.”

He watched intently before clearing his throat, his Adam’s apple bobbing in front of Rey. 

“Tell me about yourself.”

“Sure” That was a topic Rey could talk about. “I’m a third year mechanical engineering mayor. I work at a small restaurant in a History Museum, but I have and internship for next fall at―”

“Stop.” he said grinning at her. “This isn’t a job interview. Tell me about ―you ―”

This was Rey’s turn to stare at him.

“Like what would you like to know?”

“Where are you from exactly of London?”

“I have no idea.” she cracked a giggle at her own response. “I actually grew up Westminster for 12 years of my life. But moved to Arizona and I have never been able to get my accent off.”

Rey didn’t like to look at the past, such a rocky and dark place. Not her best years. But this man looked at her as if she was the greatest invention ever and wanted to learn everything before others could. His eyes sparkled under the yellow lights and maybe she would make an exception. Maybe she would tell him the whole truth, just part of it.

“Since then I was in a town in Arizona, the dust and arid air were my best friends. The change was a pain in my ass.”

He grin turned into a small laugh.

“What about you” she wondered.

“Do you have any siblings?”

“No.”

“Tell me about your parents.”

Rey gulped before answering, this was the exact question she wanted to avoid.

“I’m an orphan. I was adopted at 12 by an American family and moved to Arizona.”

He nodded and kept staring at Rey, as if her answers weren’t enough. That made Rey look down at the stupid leather pants she decided to wear when she heard his voice.

“My parents are divorced. Yes, they raised me but sometimes it felt like I was an orphan too.”

They stared at each other’s eyes like connected on a link that was invisible to the world. Until he decided to talk again.

“Why did you change from Arizona to New England?”

“College. Mostly because I needed a change in my life.”

He nodded as if taking in all of her responses and was deciding about them. They sat there for a moment, just the both of them leaning toward each other. He studied her before asking his final question.

“Am I not what you expected?”

He was nothing what she expected. Jessika knew that Rey was attracted to nerds. She kept bluffing about how she needed to get her standers higher, that Rey needed more than just a brain. And Rey was starting to like that idea sitting right here in front of a stranger.

 “You are not what I expected.”

His smile shined brighter than any lamp in the restaurant and it made Rey’s stomach tingle with hunger, not the hunger of wanting a burger.

“How so?”

Was she going to confess? Or lie?

“Jessika had said you were more of an artsy person. I thought you would be more in flow with the wind, you know, like, painting with the colors of the wind?”

He laughed, he truly laughed. Why was everything of this man so charming?

“I’m sorry I don’t paint with the wind, Ms. Leather Pants.”

_Yes, the pants were stupid._

“Well, that’s how Jessika described you!”

He hold up his hand and shook his head.

“Listen, I have to tell you something.”

There it was, the storm to come.

_Was he married? He definitely was old enough to be married. What if he has children? Way to go, homewrecker. He’s definitely gay._

“I’m not who you think I am.”

_A murderer._

“I think your friend gave you the wrong email. I don’t know anyone named Jessika. No one set me up with a Rey Kenobi.” he said at Rey’s raised eyebrows.

Was the world trying to make her choke of embarrassment? Her jaw dropped and the embarrassment seized her. “What?” That shot her straight up from her seat grabbing her bag ready to leave, the stranger immediately grabbed her hand only to ignite the apologies and guilt.

“I am so sorry. I don’t know what to tell you. This is bad―you came all the way here for― I’m sorry.” she babbled.

“Hey,” he said standing up, “please sit, and wait.”

“Why did you even come?” the question popping out of her mouth. If the email was a mistake he could’ve just ignored it and everything would have been okay, just another awful Valentine’s Day. But he came and stared at her, listened to her. Gosh, she just spilled personal details to a total stranger.

Standing there he was enormous, dwarfing her entirely. His hand on hers warm and big, he weaved his fingers with hers.

“Anyone quoting Tolstoy is worth to listen.”

* * *

 

She hid in her car seat, a handful of nerves. It had been about half an hour since she excused herself to the bathroom and ran to her car instead. When she saw the leather jacket she scooted down to her seat, she peeked only to see him climb over a big motorcycle. The wind caressing his black hair just like Rey had wanted to just an hour ago, he took a helmet and ignited the motor. There, down in her car seat she watched the beautiful man stride away from her.

Now, she would go home full of embarrassment and cry to sleep as every V-Day. Then she would hear Jessika bluff about this night, Rey didn’t know if she was prepared.

* * *

 

Okay, Rey had a guilty pleasure for Russian Literature but that was no big surprise.

She could have decided for choosing Literature as her mayor but she actually loved fixing things, creating things. Her mechanical engineering mayor was something she wouldn’t change, even if she had to be mostly surrounded by sweaty men. As for literature she only cared for the Russian books, no Shakespeare for her. But know she would have both of the loves of her life with her. She was going to sacrifice her last senior summer and join the Russian Literature class, it was always full when Rey wanted in.

“That’s because the professor is a supposed hottie” Jessika had said when Rey explained that she wouldn’t be enjoying her last summer.

This was her last chance to get in to the class.

When she arrived at the auditorium it was full of many girls, and barely five guys. This would be a treat. Rey went for a seat in the middle just to be tapped on the shoulder once she was there. A small girl with friendly face smiled at Rey, her hairstyle totally catching Rey’s attention.

“I’m Rose.” she said extending her hand.

“Rey”

Rose sat next to Rey and took out her newly bought books, making her self-conscious of the worn out books she had in her backpack.

“I can’t believe I finally got in this class. I’ve been trying for two semesters but it’s always booked full.”

“I know. The same has happened to me.” she read the titles of Rose’s books and smiled. “Which of the prerequisites did you read?”

Rose blinked. “What?”

“The prerequisites? Which one have you read? I’ve already read Crime and Punishment like a hundred times now, so I went for Pushkin’s Eugene Onegin, I have read it, but like a long time ago.”

It was Rose’s stare that made Rey shut up, she was confused by her talk.

“What?”

Rose smiled and shook her head. “It’s just, I can’t believe you’ve read these books like on purpose. And more than once.”

That earned a smile from Rey, but just when she was about to respond the professor entered the room. Rey wobbled in her seat wanting to catch a glimpse of the professor but failed miserably by the crowded room.

“Wow” whispered Rose. “Now that’s a teacher I’ve always wanted.”

Rey agreed, at least the back of him looked nice and awkwardly tall. His height reminded her of someone, of a date gone horribly wrong. That’s when Professor Solo turned.

It felt like the air was being punched out of her system.

“This course is called Classics of Russian Literature, and I am your professor, Ben Solo.” he paused, those beautiful brown eyes surveying through the front rows.

Those eyes that had made Rey wander in space before realizing that they were eyes of no Aaron, but a stranger that appeared at the restaurant and mocked her for wearing leather pants. Except she wasn’t wearing leather pants anymore, and he had no leather jacket.

_Ben._

He cleared his throat before continuing “Russian literature, as you are aware, probes the complexity and the depths of human soul. Since the theme is deep I will not tolerate disruptions.” his voice smooth and heavy at the same time, making her remember that awful night. “To be clear. If you are late, you will be locked out. If you leave, you will be locked out. The doors are locked.”

He scanned the room to make sure everyone understood what he meant, his gaze scanning like a printer. Rey ducked her head, heart at her throat while the blood rose to her cheeks.

_Why?_

_Mr. Not-Aaron_

_Mr. Motorcycle sexy_

“What’s wrong?” asked Rose as she noticed Rey’s trembling hands.

_RUN_

_NO_

_Act normal._

“What’s not true?”

Rey shook her head violently, she had spoken loudly again.

“Sorry, just ignore me.”

Rose giggled. “You are so weird.”

“Hush”

“Is it normal for you to talk to yourself? I mean, I gotta be prepared.”

“Be quiet.”

“Ladies…?”

She froze and ducked in her seat.

_NOOO!_

He looked at them, hands on his hips while pursuing his lips. Rey noticed the pair of glasses that hanged on his big nose, she hadn’t noticed them before.

“Would you two like to share something to the class?” his tone low.

Rey stared at the desk, lips unmovable leaving Rose to talk.

“We are sorry, Professor. We were just talking about…” she glanced at her books at the desk, “Eugene Onegin.” Rose forced a grin on her face.

The silence fell and a creak could be heard in the whole room. Was it possible for Rey to hunch downer into her seat, and maybe be swallowed by thin air?

Professor Solo broke the silence and paced back to his desk. “Well, that’s something on time to talk about. Yevgeniy Onegin is the first book we will be discussing.”

Rey couldn’t bear to look at him, so she closed her eyes and realized it was worse. His voice the low fuel that gave Russian literature that soul it needed. He wasn’t just an expert at Russian literature, but apparently he spoke Russian fluently. _Why did God create such a man?_

“So, tell me Miss…?” he said after giving a quick resume of the book. Rey cracked her eyes open at his question, she looked at Rose who just stared at the Professor. He waited for them to lash out with the last name.

“Rose Tico.” she voice trembling.

He nodded and stared down at the book in his hands. Maybe he wouldn’t notice her and target someone else.

“And Miss…?”

Satan in heels might as well run over her. Rey stared down avoiding all eye contact.

“Miss…?” he pressed.

It took countless of breaths and a near breakdown for Rey to sit straight in her chair. “Rey Kenobi.”

Silence. It stretched and thinned making the other students somewhat uncomfortable, making them steal glances between her and the professor. Rey totally concentrated in avoiding the professor’s gaze.

“Miss Kenobi.” he said after the silence, his voice warm as if he’d just tasted water after two days of aridness. What more? Rey looked at him, and his eyes were already upon her, not only were they staring at her like some lost thing but a smile was printed in his long face.

He leaned against the desk and placed the book in his hand on top of it.

He had recognized her. His eyes eaten her up.

“Tell me, is Pushkin a precursor to the realism later found in the legendary Russian prose novels?”

The question took Rey out of her daydream and cleared her throat, Rose was staring at her with obvious fright.

“I’m waiting.” he spoke loudly enough for the whole class to hear. “I don’t like to be kept waiting.” words harsh and loud, feeding the fright in every member of the room, including hers. Not because of the harshness of his voice, she knew what he meant. She had kept him waiting for half an hour on V-Day, he waited for her and gave up and left.

But, she couldn’t be scared of him. She had done all she could to enter this class and she would be great in it even if the professor was an obstacle in it.

She nodded.

He frowned.

“Yes, Pushkin is a precursor to the realism found later in prose novels.”

“Why?”

“Because he described the differences in social classes during his time. And not just easily discernible differences. He described their lives, everything from high society, to lower gentry, to peasants in the countryside. He displayed a proto-realist attitude later adopted by other authors.”

The room was entirely silent as if interested in the show that was going on. Not once did Rey’s voice crack. Professor Solo’s features arraigned themselves into a stoic mask and stared at Rey.

“That is correct.”

He walked away from his desk and only then did his gaze leave Rey’s, letting her finally gulp down air.

“We may find examples of this attention to detail in this tour through Petersburg high-society life with Yevgeniy in the first chapter, and the bucolic descriptions of the provincial nobility.” He said.

The class seemed to continue, but Rey couldn’t swallow any of the words being said, her mind racing. _Should she leave the course? Or stay and embrace the torture?_    

Staring at words she did through an hour until she noticed faces staring at her.

“Miss Kenobi?” his tone polite.

“Yes?”

He held her gaze and sat on his desk. “Please stay after class, Miss Kenobi.”

Whispers all over the room. She left a low growl leave her mouth and nodded.

_Great. Just great._

* * *

 

Rey watched as her fellow classmates departed to whatever they did after, she gulped as each one exited the room. Leaving her each time lonelier with him. She sat there in her desk and stared at the top of it. He laid against his wooden table and was just as motionless as she was, once the last student left the click on the door sounded. _Locked_ , he had said before. _Alone_ , just the two of them.

No sound was made from either of them until he cleared his throat and she looked up.

“Come here.” his voice an echo.

She stood and walked toward him, bag slung over her shoulder. She managed to not fall on her way toward him but halted just a few feet away from him.

“Rey” he whispered.

Rey lifted her eyes and met the brown fountain of his eyes.

“You’ve read Onegin.”

Out of all the things he could have said, that was one that caught her off guard.

“Yes” she mumbled.

“What other class syllabus have you read?” he said calmly.

At that Rey smiled, if he wanted to talk about books Rey was definitely down to it.

“It would be easier if the questions would be, which of the books on the syllabus I haven’t read?”

He smirked at her answer. “Fine.”

His eyes left hers and stared at anything that wasn’t her.

“Did you know it was me?”

“Pardon?”

“Back in February. Did you know who I was?”

Rey swallowed, gaze back at the floor.

“Well, No.” she would tell him the truth. “I would have never thought a biker of 6.2 would be a Russian literature professor.”

“But you figured it out eventually?”

She shook her head and peeked up at his face. “No, I had no idea you were a professor. Until today.”

“Then why are you in this class?” he said closing a few feet of the distance.

“Because I love tragic stories.” she said.

“Tragic stories?”

“Yes, there is something in those stories. The fact that there is always some type of love that is so potent and strong that wills them to drive in to the tragic.” She was ready to rant. “Most romantic novels have tragedy in them.”

“Name one.”

“War and Peace”

He scoffed.

“That one isn’t romantic at all.”

It felt like he had just offended her like on a personal level.

“It is!”

He shook his head and frowned. “It’s about stark pragmatism required to navigate a reality ripe with injustice. The very fact of that book it’s that it is an anti-romance.”

Now, THAT was a way to boil her in anger.

“If so, why does it give me so much emotions? Why then does Pierre’s love for Natasha―”

“Natasha is a faithless twit and Pierre is vapid and brainless. She didn’t belong with Pierre, she belonged with Andrei, but she was blind and selfish and she ruined him.”

Rey’s mouth opened wide.

“You are _wrong_.”

He shrugged unconcerned and smirked, at that moment he was the same biker who appeared that day in February.

“You are delusional. And a masochist.”

“Then you are a sociopath.” she lashed back at him. “Incapable of feeling empathy or passion.”

His eyes narrowed and his lips parted. How had Rey come so close to his space to notice that, probably when she lashed out to him.

“You think that?” he whispered, breath suddenly to close to her.

“Might be.”

Close, just merely a feet away. She could feel her body move toward him, like gravity calling. Rey wanted to tangle her hands through the dark curls of his hair just like she wanted back then. Maybe this time even caress his ears in the process.

He cleared his throat.

“I’m leaving.” Too much heat in a big room.

“Are you going to drop the class?”

She was ready to leave, but she fought for her spot hard.

“I don’t want to drop the class. I like the subject.”

He moved away from her, letting the air run free through the fire. His eyes never leaving hers. 

“Don’t drop then.” He moved to pack his things before continuing. “See you on Wednesday.”

Rey stayed rooted on her spot before asking.

“Are you going to pick on me? If I stay?”

I took him a moment to respond.

“Just like any other student.”

* * *

 

He lied.

Not in the fact that he picked on her, because in reality, he didn’t even look at her. It had been about three weeks since their chat and since then every class was dull. While everyone enjoyed each class more and more Rey found herself frustrated. She knew every topic to well, yet she was transparent to his eyes.

“Can someone tell me about the relationship between the story and the way it’s told in Pushkin’s _The Queen of Spades_.”

Rey’s hand flew in the air while everyone stayed motionless in their seats, thinking deeply in the question.

“Someone?” his eyes scanned the room lifting his eyebrows in the process. “Anyone?” It was useless and Rey knew, it had been like that for three weeks. It was as if she didn’t exist. 

“Ahsoka Tano. Tell me about _The Queen of Spades_ and why Puskin’s method of telling the story is as important as the story itself.” he asked the girl sitting directly in front of her. Rey’s hand fell slowly to the ground letting a growl leave her mouth.

“Is this about his use of numbers? Because I didn’t understand that.” said Ahsoka with doubt.

Ben relaxed his shoulders and made round circles, making his shirt wrinkle at the motion. Big arms for sure. “Do you understand the concepts of fabula and syuzhet?”

Ahsoka shook her head letting a frustrated growl win. But Ben smiled and began to re-explain the concepts in a new way in order for her and the others to understand the matter better. Rey watched the exchange pass, she envied every student next to her, including Rose. She had become a close friend to Rey, and she really liked her. What Rey envied was how everyone liked and enjoyed to engage chat with the professor, everyone but her.

Yes, Rey had been the one to tell him to stop picking on her, but that didn’t mean he had to totally ignore her. Each class Rey fell harder for him, and not just in a way for carnal desires, but, Ben was smart. He knew every topic from start to end, and he loved to express his thoughts and challenges to his students. And every person in his class fell for him too. He was an exceptional teacher.

He knew how to engage each student to the subject, he made it like chat and not like some boring class. Rey would have to watch as Ben debated with any other student over Tolsty and Gogol, he would challenge each student to go further. And Rey hated it, hate his guts.

It felt like Rey was watching through a window and she desperately wanted to be part of the class. She wanted to engage debate with the professor, she also wanted to be challenged by him. She loved Russian lit, and not being able to express each sentiment and make others understand her points was slowly killing her.

His way of not picking on her was to totally ignore her existence.

“Time is up”

A slow murmur of regret flooded the room, everyone was so concentrated in class that each time it was a sadness when the class ended.

“Your papers from last week are at the front, stacked in alphabetical order. Don’t forget to pick them up and check your grades. If there is any question about your grades, make an appointment with my secretary.”

Once he left everybody ran to the desk.

“Rose, I’ll go get our papers. Mind to watch the things?”

“No problem!” she smiled weakly.

Ben had warned the classroom about how critical he would be on this assignment, and if there was bad grades in, don’t act surprised. Most of the class were expecting Ds or Cs.

Rey took her chance and spent every moment she could with the paper, between her breaks at the restaurant and the safety of her house she poured every thought on it. Meanwhile Ben didn’t call on her or see her she decided this was her chance to express everything. The subject was one she loved so it wouldn’t be less if she didn’t pour all the love in that piece of paper. It took a week in half to find perfection.

When Rey reached the stack of papers she noticed the ones of her other classmates, and darn Ben was a very critical professor. Every other paper was flooded in red ink, his hand writing clearly visible. She could see how every mark was filled with his thoughts on that certain point of view, he even crossed out some sentences that weren’t making sense to the subject. Each paper was the same, each one of them had something of Ben. When she reached hers her heart crumbled.

It was blank. A lone B standing at the top.

Nothing.

She flipped through her pages. Nothing. Not even a single smear of red.

Emotions were at a craze at the moment. He’d completely ignored her. He didn’t care.

“Did you find mine?” asked Rose from behind.

“Oh, yes.”

Rey handed her the paper with Tico written upfront, she stole a glace only to confirm how bloody red each page was.

“Damn. I got a D. Well, I knew I wasn’t going to do too well.” She said.

“Same, most of us got Ds, except for Amy who earned a C” said Finn, one of the lone boys in the class. “What did you get, Rey?”

She could feel her emotions rise to her throat, she was angry.

“I guess everyone got a D”

“Don’t worry. He did say he was going to be very critic”

Everything hurt, even breathing.

“See you later”

_How dare he?_

She didn’t know how to feel for her feet were already in movement. It was better to walk and not think. To not think of how bluntly he had ignored her. Not just in class, but in her assignment. She had done everything but yet it felt like it was nothing. She stopped when she noticed herself just outside the Russian Studies Department instead of her old Chevy.

Rey entered the faculty offices and stopped at the reception desk ready to make an appointment about her grade with Professor Solo. But no one was there. Class ended at 8:00 pm, after the normal business hours. Resigned to leave she noticed the movement at the end of a hallway leading to a small office.

There he was, searching in a cabinet for something Rey didn’t know. Ready to attack she entered the small office, no knock or nothing. She entered the small space and closed the door, dropped her bag on a chair and sat there looking at him with the hardest eyes Ben had ever seen.

He closed the cabinet and slipped his long hands in his pockets. He stood there like some Greek statue for the sole purpose of being admired. 

“Is there something you need?” he said calmly.

Rey scoffed and yanked her paper out of her bag.

“You gave me a B?”

He finally looked at her and to Rey it felt like it had been years since she’d seen those eyes. But in reality it was only three weeks of ignoring each other. He arched an eyebrow at her question, why would she doubt of her grade when she had the best in class.

“You earned the B”

“How?”

The heat was rising up but Rey didn’t care. She was angry with him, angry for the sole existence of his persona.

“How did I get a B? I really have _no_ idea”

He stayed silent and rooted in his spot well away from her.

“Do you know why I don’t know? Simple. Because you gave me nothing.” In Rey’s rage she crumpled the paper and threw it in his nearest dumpster. “I don’t know what I did wrong, what I did right. Nothing. Everyone else gets to have your comments and your ideas while I get nothing and starve for knowledge. Every other student gets to debate on any topic while I disappear in class because I get _nothing_.  How did I get a B if I get nothing from you? Not even one single review, one single critique.”

She could feel her face flush with anger only to soon be replaced with a pinch of sadness.

“How have I become so invisible to you?” she said, voice breaking.

“You are _not_ invisible. Not to me.”

Bitterness swelled in her belly as she laughed at his words.

“I am invisible. I have to sit through your classes and watch as you teach other persons, while I am in need of your knowledge. In need of your comments and to know why I am wrong, why I am right. You are an amazing teacher, Ben. You have that grace to teach, but you won’t let me join.” She could feel her heart sting but it didn’t matter, after tonight she would leave his class. “Teach me how.”

A tear dropped down her cheek only to make her aware of how much it hurt to say the truth.

“You give yourself to others. But not to me. You give _me_ nothing.”

Rey couldn’t stand to watch him any longer, his long face a freckled mountain. No emotions. She stood from her chair and grabbed her bag, ready to leave the small office.

She let out a heavy sigh as cue. “Well, nice chatting with you. Professor.”

She barely opened the door about three inches only to get it slammed shut by a huge palm, long fingers grazing hers.  She could feel the heavy breaths down on her neck.

When she turned around she was surprised to see how quick Professor Solo was to catch her lips.

Those lips, the ones she was so curious and had wanted to taste since that day in February, they were what she imagined and more. His hand traveled to her waist only to touch the soft skin of her belly. It was like instinct had taken control over her body and this was something she did 24/7. She opened her mouth and tasted the sweetness that was Ben Solo, her fingers finally feeling the soft texture of his hair. She moaned at the touch. How long had it been since she wanted to do that exact same thing. Ben was pressing Rey hard against the wooden door, taking her leg with his other hand while his thigh spreaded the other shamelessly. ― _what a time to wear pants._ ― His hand on her belly pressing smoothly against her skin, moving higher each second.

Ben growled when Rey sucked on his tongue, letting her graze his lips. Why did it feel like she had waited so long for this to happen and yet didn’t want to take it slow? She knew one thing, she needed Ben Solo. Rey untangled her fingers from the smoothness of his hair and went for her next target. She began to untuck his shirt, yanking desperately. She touched him―his back enormous for her tiny hands. She gasped when his mouth traveled to her neck, feeling his humid lips in the hot crook of her skin tingled and burned. On other hands, she traveled her palms to his sides, his stomach― _Wow, what a stomach!_ ―his skin the perfect texture against the softness of her palm.

Too much of him, there was no room. His aroma flooded the space and everything was just him. Her pressed hardly upon the wooden door, ―Rey had even wondered if they could break right through it― his hands gripping and caressing every part of skin it touched. She would very likely drown in him.

Until a knock on the door sounded.

“Professor Solo?”

It was Ahsoka from earlier that day.

“I saw you vehicle in the parking lot. I…I wanted to talk about my paper. I was wondering if you had a free moment.”

Rey winced at the sound of her voice, such a charming girl. She went stiff against Ben’s hands which had not left Rey’s body.

“Make an appointment.” his voice was unnecessarily harsh.

Her hesitation could be sensed by Rey, who was just inches from her, separated by a door.

“Yes, well, I would. But I’m usually working during your office hours and―”

“I’m busy at the moment.” he snapped at her. “Make an appointment.”

“Sorry. I guess I’ll schedule an appointment or come later.”

They waited in silence as her footsteps left the room. All warmth now gone. Rey’s legs fell to the ground and she stayed still against the door. Ben stared at her neck and backed away a few steps, his ears as crimson as Rey’s cheeks.

“Rey” he whispered.

“Professor Solo” he winced at her choice of words.

They stared at each other for a few moments, as if collecting everything that had happened just a few seconds ago.

“I will leave.”

Ben didn’t stop her as she reached for her bag and exited the building. Neither he did when she climbed on her Chevy and rode home only to replay what had happened.

* * *

 

It had been weeks since her last class at Russian literature. And she missed them dearly. She missed the chat of every classmate, the discussions over Babel or Turgenev. The subject in general. But she also missed Ben, she missed his voice during lectures, she missed his spontaneous debates or comebacks. She missed how smart he was.

But she was better in the tranquility of her home and a cup of tea.

Or was until her advisor called.

“Rey, there is a problem. Professor Solo is challenging your late-withdraw.” said Maz through the phone.

“What?”

“Dear, he says you didn’t discuss the withdrawal with him ahead of time and he isn’t allowing it.”

“He isn’t allowing it?”

“You know late-withdraws are only for emergencies. It requires documentation and agreement from the professor.”

Rey frowned at the cup of tea in her lap, of course Professor Solo would do anything to make her not forget.

“What are my options?”

“Well, you can take an F in the course, or you can rejoin the class and try to catch up, or you can speak to Professor Solo and get him to sign off on the late-withdraw.”

None were good.

“I guess I take the F.”

Maz sigh was loud through the phone. “Rey, you are an outstanding student. You transcript is one of the best, are you sure you want that F?”      

No, she did not. She was going to graduate with honors, but the idea of being near Ben and having to go invisible once again was not in her plan. If she were to be in that class it was because she wanted to enjoy it and get the most of it. So no, that was not an option.

“Yes, the F is fine.”

* * *

 

Saturday shift, it was a crowded night and waiters kept flooding.

“Rey, someone just arrived at your table.” said Jessika from behind her.

“Right, go set the glasses, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Rey grabbed her notepad and strode toward table 7, Jessika giving her a wink as she passed. When she reached the table she noticed the leather jacket draped neatly over a chair.  

“What are you doing here?” she whispered.

“Rey, we need to talk.” He said, puppy eyes focused on her.

“You can’t just appear where I work.”

He laughed and his eyes sparkled. “Pretty sure you did that already. Appear out of nowhere where I work.”

“It’s not the same, I had no idea.”

He grabbed her hand and stroked her fingers with his thumb.

“Please, Rey” Those eyes, those beautiful pleading eyes.

“Please, Ben.”

They stared at each other until Rey gave in to the rich color that were his eyes.

“Fine, meet me at the parking lot at 9.”

He stood in front of Rey taking his jacket with him, he still dwarfed her in size yet he bent down and placed a kiss on Rey’s cheek. He winked at her and left the restaurant.

When Rey walked back to her station Jessika smiled greater than ever, Rey was still in shock.

“I wish my boyfriend came to visit me at work. Damn, I wish I had boyfriend like that!”

“Shut up”

When her shift ended at exactly 9 pm she covered herself from the fresh night and walked toward the parking lot. There he was, sitting in a lone bench covered by the potent light of the moon, at first sight it looked like he was some angel from the heavens. And when he looked at her it all melted away, the world itself didn’t exist.

“Come, let’s go for a walk” she said walking toward him.

There was a park near the museum, at this late of night it was just the two of them sitting on the seats of some swings. The picture was hilarious, Ben trying to sit comfortably but failing because of his big limbs. They sat in silence just hearing the whistle of the air roll through the streets.

“Rey, you have to go back to class.” he mumbled.

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you will have all of the notes from the weeks you were gone. And being you I know it won’t be hard to catch up.”

“I can’t.”

The moonlight did no justice to his eyes, how beautiful they were. How sad they looked.

“I understand if you want to report me. I apologize for my inappropriate behavior. If you choose to report my conduct, I fully support your decision. I apologize for being unethical.”

 _He regretted it_.

“Kissing me was a mistake?”

At that he tore his gaze away from her, as if ashamed.

“I never should have kissed you.”

It would have been easier if he would have just stood up and carved her heart out. Maybe that would have been bearable

“I am your professor―”

“Was”

“You won’t quit the class, Rey. You have so much potential. You were the one with the biggest grades before that kiss. I can’t let you back down from a class you really love with an F, when it is I who is to blame.”

She couldn’t believe it, he was willing to carry all the blame in order for her to rejoin the class.

“Ben, I wanted to kiss you. Since that day in February, and since that day you showed up in Russian literature class. So don’t come here stating it was a mistake when my heart craved for it.”

She reached out and took his gloved hand, wrapped her fingers around his and tangled her other hand in the lose locks of his hair.

“I hated when you ignored me. It felt like you were blocking me out, I knew it was for the best but I couldn’t handle it.”

The wind blew between them and he moved his swing closer to hers. His face close, his nose grazing her jaw.

“I never wanted to ignore you. You were always there, the more I tried to ignore your voice the more I was pulled toward you. I knew I had to shut you down, because if I’d let you in, if I talked to you, I knew I would never want to talk or hear any other person. Even if it was Tolstoy himself. Only your opinion would be against mine, and I wouldn’t care what others thought. It would be just you.”

At those words her heart exploded in her chest, her heartbeat running wild. She wanted this, she wanted him. She searched for his mouth and tasted his sweet lips, so soft and familiar. She moaned into him as she felt his grin on her lips.

“And saying that once I accused you of being an emotionless, passionless person” she whispered against his lips.

“You would be surprised, Ms. Leather pants”

She laughed at the night, she laughed at herself. Stupid leather pants.

“Will you return to class? At least finish the semester.” He mumbled in a low voice.

“But we need conditions.”

He nodded, ready to listen to any word she said, as if a prayer.

“You won’t pick on me, but at least try once or twice a week.”

“Sure”

They stayed in silence for a moment thinking about what to throw to the wind.

“What about us? This” he said wrapping his long arm over Rey’s waist, his thumb making slow circles under her blouse.

 “Well, we won’t be anything until I finish that semester.” She said carefully caressing one if his ears. He frowned and pouted, like a huge pup waiting on its master.

“Fine” the tone in his voice was disappointed, yet he accepted anything Rey said.

That tempted Rey, his eyes tempted her, his finger under her blouse tempted her. Maybe she was willing to risk.

“Dates aren’t forbidden in school. We can have one or two dates, or more. But just that.” His eyes widened and the grin returned. _Oh, Ben Solo. Why do you do this to me?_

“If things go right, who knows” she giggled as he moved closer to her. He reached up the hand from under her blouse and cupped her cheek, he stared at her with great intensity before rising higher to kiss her fully on the mouth. Now, _that_ felt like the most correct thing in the world. “Conditions can change.” She whispered when they separated to catch breath. “We don’t want people to believe I’m your favorite student, do we?”

“You _are_ my favorite student.” He said releasing her cheek.

* * *

 

“Why do you hate Pierre so much?” asked Rey as she sat next to Ben in the old couch she owned.

“I don’t hate him,” he said plainly as he grabbed a cracker from the small table next to them. It was a habit now, after he gave his class he would come and lounge with Rey until it was time to go. Rey was no more his student for she had finished the semester in perfection. She did not only bring new knowledge home, but a new person in her comfort zone. “I think he’s not that great of a character.”

“But he is Natasha’s love interest. They marry at the end.” she said sipping her lemon soda.

“You see, ending up with a person doesn’t always mean they were made for each other. You can see that clearly―”

“They fall in love. You truly are a hard core Andrei/Natasha shipper”

Ben laughed and wrapped his hand over Rey’s leg, it felt as if they were together for more than they could tell. And they were happy about it, the comfort, their love, it was something she didn’t imagine.

“Well, I think Andrei and Natasha had or could’ve had a deeper relationship.”

Rey looked offended. “How so? He left her alone, of course the poor girl is gonna have her doubts.”

“Yes, but they both made mistakes.” His eyes sparkled at the idea of debating a subject he loved with the one he loved. “When Natasha meets Andrei he is already widowed, most of his life has already passed infront of his eyes and he has no clue how to restore it. But when he sees Natasha with all of her energy and happiness, he is infected. He feels alive again.”

“Even though he has double her age?” she commented before sipping her soda again. Ben stared at her with one eyebrow up, was she the one to judge? “Okay, fine. But I mean, one thing is like 15 years of difference.” She wrapped her free hand in his hair and smiled. “We are only ten years apart. No big deal.”

“As I was saying…” he continued given Rey a side look. “And Natasha is young, she feels every emotion far to close and fresh. She does not know life yet. When Andrei leaves her she turns into a hurricane of emotions. She is too young and new to the world.”

“How is that her fault? It is Andrei to blame.”

“How could he know? He was so accustomed to his old life with his old wife. Used to living a life of dullness and superficiality. His wife understood, so why not Natasha?”

“Woman aren’t alike, Ben.”

“No, that’s true.” He said ready to mock Rey. “Have you seen the new receptionist at the Literature building? Yup.” He said looking away.

He almost choked with the dust that came off the pillow she threw at him. “Funny, Solo.”

“Okay, what I’m trying to say is, Natasha brought up a new reason to live for Andrei. She was the image of light and birds chipping in the morning. While Andrei had nothing of that, yet, he wanted to experience it all with her by his side. And he died forgiving her, because even in death she meant peace and love.”

Rey placed the soda on the table and curled against Ben’s side, letting her head rest against his chest. She breathed in his aroma while Ben gave Rey a kiss on her hair, the same floral shampoo. Her hands traveled to the buttons of his shirt and played with them.

“Don’t worry, this Natasha won’t elope with anyone that’s not you.”

His laugh resounded in his chest and Rey could die of happiness in that same spot.

“That’s nice to hear.” He said moving her so she was sitting on his lap. “This Andrei won’t ever leave you, he will do everything in his power for you to love him.”

She smiled widely and cupped his face. “I don’t know about Natasha, but Rey already loves you.”

She crashed his lips and tasted the salt of crackers accompanied with the taste that only came from him. How long would it take for them to stay with clothes on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed.  
> This is a shot inspired by the book "Kissing Tolstoy" by Penny Reid. Go Reid that book ;)  
> Also, let me get clear. I know NOTHING of Russian literature, most of the arguments used here were taken from the original book and Wikipedia. I wish i've read the Tolstoy books, but i only read like 2 essays on Natsha and Andrei's relationship at 2 am. So my bad.  
> love <3  
> twitter. @ korloov  
> https://korlovv-writes.tumblr.com/  
> -  
> UPDATE!  
> okay, i finished the BBC series just last night and holy hell! I was not expecting a rollercoaster of feels♡  
> I still agree with Ben in this oneshot. I want to read the book, but i'm afraid it will even further the wound.   
> It's missing Andrei Bolkonsky hours ;-;


	2. Extra chapter/ Deleted scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An extra chapter I decided to add because I missed these babes.

How was he supposed to ignore her? He truly tried.

But it was very hard when he suppressed his mind from talking back to her, to argue or solidate her statement. It was difficult, he never experienced the anxiety like this before. He knew he should control it better, he even considered quitting the university and moving to a far-off cabin. That ended quickly once he realized that it would mean never see her freckles ever again, nor hear her british accent lifting in the room.

He carried his shoulders low as he entered his small apartment, the fatigue of the day causing a thunderous back pain. He locked the door and was greeted with the solitude and silence of four walls, the chilly air wrapping around his body. After taking a shower he sat to do actual work, he had to do revision on the essays the students had turned in. He could easily read vaguely read through them and right off the bat point out the first mistakes and inconsistencies. Yet, the reason he had taken his time to actually sit down and read them was because he knew that Rey’s work would be almost impeccable.

Rey was smart and it helped that she was in love with the subject, her potential being pressed as she forced herself to reach points she was capable of. He finally gave up and decided to do the inevitable, he took his red pen and began his lecture through the pile of essays, purposefully leaving Rey’s essay at last.

To his surprise, most of the students weren’t lost on the subject. Of course it wasn’t as great as he wished, but the initial argument was there, weirdly redacted but there. He knew that the odds were that none would earn a correct ‘A’, for most of the papers contained varied ideas and no closure nor opinions. He was pretty sure his pen had run out of ink as he soon realized just how much he was writing on the papers, his own ideas drowning over the initial one. The subject of the essay was simple, to demonstrate how many Russian authors liked to express actual situations of the soviets and make the connections between authors. Ben wanted his students to understand the literature as fondly as he did, not just to fall in love with the aesthetic and story but know and rethink the aspects that lay underneath. And if he was to be true to himself, knowing the history and ideas of the author do bring a great context to stories which are famous for the tragedy and unrequired aspects.

_What do you think was truly happening through Tolstoy’s mind?_

_Why was the political and religious belief so important in_ _Dostoevsky’s work?_

It was past midnight and he should have been far of to sleep, but he found himself invested in the ideas of his students, he was in love with finding the flaws and argumenting why he was right, what new aspects the should have considered.

He reached the last essay to be reviewed and immediately felt his heart speed as he read her name. _Rey Kenobi._ Her essay was perfectly neat with the subtitles remarked as pressed, her text as long as it needed to be. He read the first page with an open mind for he would not let his hormones or rabid heat in his pants simply take over his duty as professor. But she was smart, he had always known. She pointed out the aspect no one did, she redacted perfectly, and her ideas remained clear and stable. He tapped the red pen to his lips knowing full well that she deserved the full grade, that an ‘A’ was exactly what she earned. But his mind buzzed, he couldn’t give her the ‘A’ she deserved. There was no way in the world she would accept the grade and not think poorly -as she already did- of him, she would mistaken the grade as something more, maybe even think he was doing it on propose to gain something of her.

It crushed a part of him the fact that he couldn’t debate with her, couldn’t argue and listen to her. He wished he could do that as freely as he wished. When he read her essay, he was tempted more than once to write down his thoughts, to point at her arguments and solidify them or simply ask another question about it. He wanted to engage with her, to ask more about her opinions, to know what her favorite Russian novel was, to understand why on earth she liked Pierre.

Ben closed his eyes, rethinking what he should do and if he should do it.

Ever since he talked to her in that classroom, she made it clear that she had no intention of ever approaching him, of bringing a closure to what started on February. And he understood the difference between a one-night stand and the reality that they shared no link.

He set the pen away, shoving it in the pocket of his messenger bag. He would not write a thing on her essay, it was better off if he let things stay the way they were. He respected her posture and he would protect his heart from those eyes and wrinkled nose. It was easier if he ignored her angelic voice ringing in the classroom or fought the temptation to engage a topic with her. He needed to destroy the need to listen to her, and if he had to break his own heart, he would.

He took her essay and placed it on the stack, ordering the pile of papers by alphabetical order. He nodded to himself. Yes, he would try and maybe succeed to ignore her, to eliminate the sin with two tanned legs.

He wished he could have slept as easily as thinking of her, fast and steady. But his mind was a torture, thinking of the way her eyes sparkled when they reached a certain author or novel. He hated himself, he hated the world, and deep down he also hated her.

He hated her for being the most beautiful creature his eyes had laid on, he hated how smart she was and how confident she always seemed. He hated that she was perfect in all the ways he wished and dreamed, he hated that she made him wish he was younger and not her professor, he wished he was just a man and maybe then he could purse her the way he wanted to. He rolled on the other side of the bed, puffing hot breaths.

Even then, she would be too much for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've missed professor Ben and student Rey. This fic was meant to be just a one shot, but i felt inspired these days and there you go. I can say i've done my homework (partially, because I actually do have a lot of homework at the moment), but i can now officially say that I agree with Ben. I still get sad over Andrei Bolkonsky and that dweep makes me cry every time I think of him and Natasha.  
> Anyway, be happy :)


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